You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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