At least make sure they are 18
Why
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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