Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
