I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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