Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
