Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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