bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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