I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
