Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
