You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
