lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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