I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
