On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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