I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
