i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
