Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
