friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
