I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
