Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
