I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
