I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
