Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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