If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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