I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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