I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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