I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
