I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
