There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize