At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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