man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
