wrigley field is MILF paradise
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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