Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
