I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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