i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
