do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
