hotel room ftw
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
