You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
