Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you made out with another girl for some wings
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
