So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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