You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
