I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
