I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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