What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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