I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
