yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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