I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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