So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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