lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
