That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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