piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
