I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
