if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
