I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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