He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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