I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
