I think scott just propositioned me for sex
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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