Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
