Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
