Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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