So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
cat food counts as protein by the way
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize