whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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