In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
