Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize