so that wasnt chicken after all
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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