I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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