you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
