Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
