My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
