i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
