Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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