listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
