she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My bed smells like the plague
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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