she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
