Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
